- MyRepublic
The Premier League is back, which means weekends have plans again.
For football fans in Singapore, that also means late-night kick-offs, Fantasy Premier League tinkering, transfer rumours, group chat chaos and occasionally trying not to scream at the TV because everyone else at home is asleep.
But while we might all be watching the same league, not all Premier League fans are built the same.
Some of us spend more time managing our Fantasy team than our actual lives. Some can explain exactly why the referee is wrong. Others somehow own seven versions of the same club shirt.
You probably know these people.
You might even be one of them.
What Type of Premier League Fan Are You?
8 questions. No right answers. Plenty of questionable football behaviour.
We've seen enough.
Eight questions. Several questionable decisions. One extremely scientific result.
You're
Your other tendencies
Every Premier League Football Fan Has a Type
Football fandom comes in many forms. Maybe you live for tactics. Maybe transfer season is your favourite time of year. Maybe you’re simply willing to sacrifice a healthy sleep schedule to watch your club play at 3am.
But to be frank, you don’t have to necessarily fit neatly into one category. Most of us are probably a slightly concerning combination of several.
So, which Premier League fan are you?
1. The Fantasy Manager
For The Fantasy Manager, there are actually two Premier Leagues happening every weekend.
There’s the real one.
And then there’s the important one.
They know who’s injured, who’s suspended, who’s taking penalties and which £4.5m defender has surprisingly good underlying numbers. They’ve already planned their transfers three gameweeks ahead and have very strong opinions about when you should use your Wildcard.
Ask them how their club performed and they’ll tell you eventually.
First, however, you need to hear about how their captain blanked while the player they nearly captained scored twice.
Fantasy football doesn’t ruin their weekend.
It simply gives them more ways for their weekend to be ruined.
You might be The Fantasy Manager if: You’ve ever celebrated a player scoring against your own club because they’re in your FPL team.
2. The VAR Expert
The incident happened four seconds ago.
The referee hasn’t reached the monitor.
The replay has barely started.
But The VAR Expert has already reached a verdict.
“No chance.”
“That’s obviously offside.”
“How is that not a penalty?”
They’ve reviewed the incident from one camera angle on their television and somehow possess greater knowledge of the Laws of the Game than everyone inside the stadium.
Of course, their interpretation of those laws can occasionally depend on which team benefits from the decision.
Decision for their club? Correct application of the rules.
Decision against their club? The game is gone.
You might be The VAR Expert if: You’ve paused the television to explain where someone’s shoulder ends and their arm begins.
3. The Shirt Collector
Some fans buy a football shirt.
The Shirt Collector builds an archive.
There’s the home kit, obviously. Then the away kit. Then the third kit that looked questionable when it leaked but is “actually quite nice in person”.
And we haven’t even reached the retro shirts.
They know which seasons had the best sponsors, which kits are becoming difficult to find and exactly how much an original shirt from the 1990s is worth.
Their wardrobe increasingly resembles a club museum, and yet they’ll still say:
“I don’t have this one.”
Dangerous words.
Especially when followed by a late-night Carousell search.
You might be The Shirt Collector if: You own more football shirts than occasions where wearing a football shirt is socially appropriate.
4. The 3AM Alarm Hero
This one goes out to the Singapore fans.
The 3AM Alarm Hero knows that supporting a Premier League club from this side of the world occasionally requires sacrifice.
Specifically, sleep.
They’ve mastered the calculation:
If I sleep at 11pm, wake up at 2.55am, watch until 5am and sleep again until 7am… that’s basically enough sleep, right?
It isn’t.
But they’ll do it anyway.
They watch goals while trying not to wake the household, celebrate 90th-minute winners through aggressively silent fist pumps and arrive at work the next morning looking like they’ve personally played the full 90 minutes.
And if their team loses?
Now they’re tired and angry.
You might be The 3AM Alarm Hero if: “What time is the match?” is immediately followed by “Wah, 3am ah?”
5. The Transfer Window Detective
Why wait for an official announcement when you can investigate?
The Transfer Window Detective doesn’t follow transfer rumours.
They solve cases.
A player followed the club on Instagram?
Interesting.
Their agent was spotted in London?
Very interesting.
A private jet just landed near the training ground?
GET IN THE GROUP CHAT.
These fans know every tier-one journalist, every vaguely reliable insider and every rumour account with a profile picture saying “TRANSFER NEWS”.
And when a player removes their current club from their Instagram bio?
It’s over.
Deal practically done.
Until the player signs a new five-year contract with their existing club the next morning.
You might be The Transfer Window Detective if: You’ve ever tracked a flight containing someone who may or may not have been a professional footballer.
6. The Tactical Genius
The manager has years of professional coaching experience.
The Tactical Genius has watched 45 minutes from the sofa.
Guess who’s more qualified?
“The midfield is getting overrun.”
“We need more width.”
“Why are we playing such a high line?”
“He needs to switch to a double pivot.”
By half-time, the Tactical Genius has identified every problem and prepared the substitutions.
Their managerial credentials may consist primarily of several hundred hours of Football Manager, but that’s irrelevant.
Give them the job.
They’ll sort it out.
Probably.
You might be The Tactical Genius if: You’ve ever shouted “MAKE A SUB!” at a manager who definitely cannot hear you from Singapore.
7. The Group Chat Commentator
You don’t technically need to watch the match when this person is around.
The Group Chat Commentator provides comprehensive live coverage directly to WhatsApp.
Kick-off: “COME ONNNNN.”
Opposition scores: “We’re finished.”
Equaliser: 11 messages.
VAR check: 17 messages.
Winner in stoppage time:
BROOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
They’re also responsible for the memes, screenshots and reaction images that appear approximately six seconds after anything embarrassing happens.
And heaven help anyone in the group chat whose club lost earlier that weekend.
Receipts will be produced.
You might be The Group Chat Commentator if: Your friends can determine the score entirely from the number of notifications you’ve sent.
8. The Eternal Optimist
Every season starts the same way.
“This is our year.”
A couple of bad results?
“Still early.”
Five points behind?
“Long season.”
January arrives?
“If we win our game in hand…”
April?
“Mathematically, it’s still possible.”
The Eternal Optimist cannot be defeated by something as trivial as league position, injuries, poor form or basic arithmetic.
There’s always another match.
Another possibility.
Another highly specific sequence of results involving six other clubs that would put everything back on track.
And you know what?
Football probably wouldn’t be nearly as fun without them.
You might be The Eternal Optimist if: You’ve ever opened the league table, started calculating points and whispered, “Actually…”
So, Which Premier League Fan Are You?
Maybe you’re The Fantasy Manager who sets a 3am alarm.
Maybe you’re The Shirt Collector who transforms into The VAR Expert the second kick-off arrives.
Or perhaps you’re The Tactical Genius, The Transfer Window Detective and The Group Chat Commentator all at once.
In which case, your friends have probably muted you. Sorry, it’s true.
Whatever kind of Premier League fan you are, watching football is better when you’ve got people to celebrate, complain and wildly overanalyse it with.
And when you’re watching from home in Singapore, there’s one thing every fan can agree on: the internet choosing the 89th minute to start buffering is unacceptable behaviour.
So send this to the football group chat and assign everyone their type.
And if nobody sends you The VAR Expert?
We have some difficult news.
